You ever wanted to run a cult where cute woodland creatures worship you, then immediately go slaughter heretics in blood-soaked dungeons? Yeah, me neither—until I played this thing for 22 hours straight and forgot what sunlight looked like.
My Setup
Played on Steam Deck, mostly on Medium settings (High made the fan scream during crusades), running version 1.2.1 post-Relics update. Put in about 22 hours over five days before my partner staged an intervention.
What I Loved (Be Specific)
The loop is genuinely addictive. Every crusade takes maybe 8-12 minutes, then you’re back at base managing your flock. I’d tell myself “one more run” at 11 PM and suddenly it’s 2 AM and I’ve performed three ritual sacrifices and built a new temple. The transition between “adorable Animal Crossing vibes” and “hack-and-slash bloodbath” shouldn’t work, but it absolutely does.
Combat feels meaty despite the cutesy art. When I finally unlocked the hammer weapon in Anura (third region), the screen-shake on every hit was chef’s kiss. There’s this one curse called “Divine Blizzard” that freezes enemies in a circle—combining that with the axe’s heavy damage let me absolutely demolish Heket’s second mini-boss (Eligos) in like 45 seconds. The tarot card system keeps runs fresh; getting “Hearts III” (extra health on kill) early basically turns you into an unkillable god.
The dark humor hits perfectly. My followers have names like “Poopy Steve” and “Murder Floof,” and watching them happily eat a “special meal” (literally their friend from yesterday) while upbeat music plays is hilariously disturbing. There’s a ritual called “Fasting” where you just… don’t feed anyone for a day to save resources. Half my cult got sick, one dissenter started a riot, but hey—saved 30 berries!
Base progression feels meaningful. Unlocking the Ritual Stone lets you sacrifice followers for massive faith boosts, but then you need to recruit more. Building the Healing Bay stopped my followers from dying to food poisoning every other day (pro tip: build this EARLY). Every structure feels like it solves a problem you didn’t know you had.
What Annoyed Me
Follower micromanagement gets tedious fast. Around hour 15, I had 18 followers and spent more time cleaning poop, blessing sick cultists, and stopping fights than actually crusading. There’s no “auto-assign jobs” button, so I’m manually telling Gerald the Fox to chop wood for the fifth time today. A QoL update would fix this, but it’s not here yet.
The game crashed on me during Kallamar’s boss fight. Lost 15 minutes of progress and a god-tier weapon combo (sword + Tentacle curse). This happened twice on Steam Deck, both times when too many enemies spawned at once. Autosaves between rooms help, but still—frustrating as hell.
Difficulty spikes inconsistently. Leshy (first bishop) took me three tries. Heket (second)? One-shot her. Then Kallamar randomly destroyed me six times because his squid projectile attack is borderline unfair. The fourth bishop Shamura felt easier than Kallamar. It’s weird.
Is It Worth Your Time?
Hell yes, if you like roguelites OR management sims—you’ll find something here. If you loved Hades but wished it had base-building, or enjoyed Stardew Valley but wanted more blood sacrifices, this is your jam. Just know that after hour 20, the content does thin out unless you’re into post-game gauntlet modes.
Skip it if you need deep mechanical complexity or hate repetition. The crusades reuse room layouts a LOT.
Reader Questions
Q: How long does it take to beat?
Main story took me about 18 hours to finish all four bishops and the final boss. I’m slow though—speedrunners can probably do it in 10-12. Post-game content (Relics of the Old Faith, recruiting bishops as followers) added another 4+ hours and I’m still not done with everything.
Q: Does it run well on Steam Deck?
Yeah, mostly. Locked 60fps on Medium settings, battery lasted about 2 hours per charge. High settings dropped me to 45-50fps during busy crusades with lots of particle effects. Had two crashes in 22 hours, both during late-game boss fights with tons of enemies on screen.
Q: Is the base management annoying or fun?
Fun for the first 10-15 hours, then it becomes routine busywork. Early game you’re solving problems—building farms, unlocking rituals, keeping faith high. Late game you’re just doing chores between dungeon runs. The “Fasting” ritual cheese helps skip feeding days when you’re lazy.
Q: Can I play this with my kid?
Uh, probably not unless they’re cool with cartoon violence and cult themes. It’s rated T for Teen, and while the art is adorable, you’re literally sacrificing followers, eating them, and brainwashing dissenters. My 8-year-old nephew watched me play and asked why the bunny was being thrown into a pit of fire—awkward conversation.
Q: What’s the best weapon combo?
Hammer + Divine Guardian curse melted everything for me. Hammer does massive AOE damage, Divine Guardian summons a ghostly protector that tanks hits. For bosses, sword + Tentacle curse is safer—sword is fast enough to dodge between attacks. Daggers feel weak unless you get specific tarot cards to buff them.
Q: Should I get the DLC or updates?
Relics of the Old Faith is a FREE update, not paid DLC—just download it. Adds relics (powerful items), heavy attacks, and lets you recruit defeated bishops as immortal followers. Totally worth it. There’s another update called “Sins of the Flesh” that adds breeding mechanics (weird, I know), but I haven’t tried it yet.
About the Author
